Dutch Lock Down Day Seventeen

At least I don’t have to think of a new title every day #AMIRITE

Also FUCK YOU, April Fools’.

I mean, what gives you the right to come along in the middle of this pandemic?!? #NotCool

And also happy birthday, A!

I know, I’m all over the place.

#SorryNotSorry

But first, the news:

• More deaths and hospitalisations but there are signs of change
• Many Sex Workers Ignoring CoronaVirus Distancing Measures
• A Billion Euros in Emergency Fund for Most Affected EU Countries [Dutch]

This was one of the news items yesterday, but then I shied away from explicitly writing it out because my brain ran away screaming, the Netherlands is officially extending the ‘intelligent lockdown’ until 28 April which means schools will be closed until May because that’s when the spring vacation starts.

I don’t know why that last part is important, but because of how A’s school works, he’s not headed back to school until 11 May.

But, let’s be real, Warriors, he’s not going back to school this year.

First of all, can I just unpack the label ‘intelligent lockdown‘ as opposed to… UNINTELLIGENT lockdowns where the government doesn’t have a lockdown at all? Or #NotAsIntelligent lockdowns where the government enforces a curfew? I mean, why are we calling it that? Are we saying we have faith in humanity’s collective intelligence to maintain a certain physical distance?

Because…

NOPE.

And second of all, my brain processed that official announcement overnight and this morning I woke up WRECKED.

Instead of simply calling out sick at work which is as simple and nonspecific as flagging myself as sick, I started the long term illness process of emailing my boss, HR, and my colleagues to let everyone know that I’m ill, not COVID ill, but depression / overwhelmed / stress / mental illness ill and while I would be keeping an eye on my email for fires, I am going to focus on therapy for the next few days.

Or weeks.

Or however long it takes.

And, seriously, it was like a massive weight was lifted off my shoulders.

So now my job is officially to get better.

Or, at least, stabilize.

Or, at least, survive?

Which I honestly have no idea what that looks like because so many people including my therapist are work from home and there’s no gym and #COVID19

So… I’ll let you know?

This daily check in really helps, Warriors.

Thank you.