Dear Future Christmas Rain

[Dutch Lock Down Day Two Hundred Seventy Eight]

Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas, but to do so, remember just a few points that I’m going to write down now and set a future alarm to read this again in October 2021.

Cause DAMN this last minute wrapping is BULLSHIT.

But first the news:

I want to write this down so you can read it in the future and instead of thinking, “Ah, yes, I remember this…” when you’re in the middle of wrapping presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Eve Eve and hating yourself and remembering that last year you didn’t even want to SEE a wrapped presents let along UNWRAP one and it broke your heart every time the kids absolutely tore through the paper before their eyes filled with joy which made it all worth it, but damn, I hate tape right now.

Buy. The gifts. In October. MAYBE in November.


And hide them away where they won’t be found.

Except also write down where you hid them because our memory isn’t THAT good.

I mean, fuck it, have the kids write those letters to SinterKlaas AND Tomten AND Santa Claus back in October, too. Cause when they think about what they want, it starts building the antici…


But also it means that when you’re trying to think of presents for them, you have a LIST. Also, only wrap HALF of the presents in the stockings. Fuck it.

Ah, shit.

And you WILL forget to wrap something.

But you’ll not be absolutely BURNT OUT on wrapping when you remember and instead of, “OH GODS, WHY ME?!?” you’ll think, “Ah, where’d a put the wrapping paper again?” and maybe you’ll actually wrap the present instead of hide it on a high shelf to be lost forever.

ASIDE: Wrap the presents from P’s mum. Now. You forgot. They’re sitting behind you. Do it now before you write another word. Just get it done. You can do it, Leander. Do the thing! NOW! G’job, Leander. I knew you could do the thing.

Also, please don’t forget, you thankfully remembered this year because it’s only been a year since last year, but don’t buy yourself presents, wrap them and then unwrap them in front of the kids. Just open the boxes, enjoy the unboxing, and play immediately.

This year we’re trying something new – all the presents, from both Santa and Tomten, arrive on Christmas Eve, but we’re going to open the stockings, from Santa, on the night of Eve while we’ll open Tomten’s presents on Christmas morning.

Future me, I don’t know if it’ll work out but I’ll let you know.

It doesn’t matter, though, as much as buying and wrapping presents MONTHS in advance.

Trust me on this one.



Present Christmas Rain