Happy THIRD Birthday, Twins

[Dutch Lock Down Day Two Hundred Fifty Six]

You two are SO BIG!

I can’t believe that we induced three years ago yesterday and then you were BORN.





By the way, twins don’t normally do that – there are a LOT of twins born via Cesarean, and, typically, when twins are born, well, vaginally, like you were, well, one comes out then the other.

MINUTES apart.

But not you!


Girl Twin couldn’t WAIT to get out and Boy Twin, well, he took his time.

I was oh so totally fine with the lovely pause in between cause, let’s be honest, that was HARD.

But first the news:

But if we’re going to talk about your birth, I need to touch on the pregnancy – cause THAT was also HARD.

That’s the night before – I’m so ready to MEET YOU because the pregnancy was SO HARD. And we’ve DONE IT! Thirty FOUR weeks, babies! Single babies aim for thirty six, but twins get thirty-four as the goal.

Let’s talk about THAT rollercoaster ride, shall we?

I will admit that, from an early age, I wanted twins.

A boy and a girl. One pregnancy. Two kids. DONE.

When I found out you were TWO, I SQUEEEE’D with delight. Your Papa, who is much smarter about things like money and logic, paled considerably at the looming responsibilities.

I was friends with triplets when I was ten ish and we were talking about how many kids we wanted to have when we grew up and when I shared my desire to have two kids, a boy and a girl, in one pregnancy, the triplets asked if I had twins or multiples in my family and when I said no, they said it wasn’t possible.

Also, by the by, after First Minion was born, we knew we wanted to have a second child, so I freaked when my period started going wrong at about the time when we wanted to start trying for YOU and went to the specialists and there were a lot of tests and they said that it wasn’t possible to have children anymore.

Obviously, this means that people shouldn’t tell us what’s possible or impossible.

I would grow more aware of the reality of things over the course of the pregnancy (and buying a second thing of everything because we had specifically saved everything from your big brother, knowing we’d have a second child, but not a third AT THE SAME TIME) – well, I will admit that I hadn’t really accepted reality until a few months ago when my cousin said, “You’re still in the TwinAbyss – you can’t see out yet – I get it.”

ASIDE: She’s my cousin because our great great great great great great great grandfathers came over on the Mayflower together, but, more importantly, she’s also had twins and was able to give me a pep talk that I really needed at a time when I REALLY needed it. Hi, S!

When the term #TwinAbyss came across, it explained all the difficulties and struggles and hardships and I’m not saying YOU TWO are difficult or hard, but that when you have three children, and two of them are the same age and you only have four hands among two parents and no family nearby, the struggle is real.

So, yes, we’re still in the #TwinAbyss but I can see the light. I feel like it’ll be on the other side of this Threenager phase, but it’s coming and I have hope.

But during the pregnancy?


There were more than a few times when we thought we’d lose one or both of you.

First of all, because your mama is older than average and the thickness of the back of your neck, the doctors recommended another test to verify the likeliness that you’d have Down- / Edwards- / Patausyndroom. So we did a double amniocentesis. Which is a procedure in which amniotic fluid is removed from the uterus for testing or treatment. The risks are quite rare but my brain presented me with a needle stabbing me and both of you repeatedly until we all died.

My brain was wrong.

And you two did not have Down / Edwards / Patausyndroom.

Bonus – now we knew one of you was a girl and one a boy.

Which was very good cause now your growth patterns made sense. Cause one of the other scares we had was that one of you was growing ‘normally’ and the other was not. Now that we knew genders, the boy was growing normally for his sex and the girl was growing normally for hers.

And, no, brain, one wasn’t eating the other.

Things progressed mostly normal until the third trimester when my arms turned yellow and I got REAL itchy. My liver thought it was important to produce All The Bile, but, thankfully, I took a pill, and it chilled the fuck out.

For two weeks.

And then the liver was like, no, really, ALL THE BILE, and we had to induce. Thankfully, we made it to the thirty-three weeks and six days. So I spent one VERY itchy night in the hospital and you arrived the next day.

I assumed that, just like when I gave birth to First Minion, I’d hold out on the drugs until I was puking / 4 centimeters, then get enough to cut the edge, but, no, in the time it took the doctor to look, I was 8 centimeters and you were on your way.

No drugs for me.






I still can’t believe it either.

Girl Twin leapt out first which really wasn’t a surprise because you spent the ENTIRE pregnancy head down right THERE while Boy Twin spent the entire pregnancy exploring the vastness of his empire and partying and such – we LITERALLY saw him kick you IN THE HEAD during an ultrasound.

So you came out and Boy Twin wasn’t ready and, well, neither was I.

I needed a minute.

But apparently, also, Boy Twin wasn’t ready either, cause he had found this AWESOME space where he could cuddle up and just chill and you knew that outside was Not Your Jam.

I can relate.

I’m so glad that I can’t understand Dutch when I’m scared / angry / in pain because this is where it got fun. Apparently the nurse and the doctor started debating aforementioned Caesarean.

I understood none of it.


Cause after a few more minutes of active pushing, with a nurse shoving from the side, I ask, “how about Caesarean?”

The doctor shakes her head no, “I’m going to try something,” grabs something, does something with it, and she waits for the next contraction.

I’m being vague because my brain goes, “ah, shit.”

And then there was nothing more than pain again.

Also, I had to google ‘what device is used to pull a baby out’.

The first result, forceps, was not the thing. The second result, vacuum, is the thing!

And then you were here!

Both of you!

And I don’t even really remember the rest cause we just cuddled and stared at you and bought a car and totally never figured out how to feed you two simultaneously on each breast cause fuck that shit.

And I’m so very glad you’re three now.

I can’t believe you’re three now.

Happy third birthday, Twins.