[Dutch Lock Down Day Four Hundred Twenty One]

I know I know – so so sorry.


It’s a really intense time over here in #LeanderLand these days.

And, yeah, still not time for the big reveal, but in the midst of all the chaos, my partner is flying to the States for work. For a week. Starting Tuesday.

But first the news:


No, but seriously.

I’ll be oke. Mostly because I have to be oke.

I’ve found that if I Have To Do a thing, I Just Do The Thing.

While I fall apart randomly, it’s only when P or a caregiver is there to pick up the slack with the kids, but without anyone else there, I’ll stay stable or stuff it down until I can deal with it later. Which seems fucked up, but that’s the way my brain works.

My Brain: *panic*
Me: “Let’s unpack this tonight after the kids are in bed, shall we.”
My Brain: “FINE!! !”

But, just in case, let’s review our Emergency Toolkit, and make a list [offline!] of people who are oh so totally here for me over the next week.

And, probably tomorrow, cause it’s almost time for Serious Things today, I’ll put together a little Playbook of Sorts for how a Not Panic’d person might react to Situations so that if I have Lost My Mind, I can look at it and Know Things.

Vague, I know, but that’s where we are, eh?

Part of the radio silence over the past few days was that there was NOTHING else I could think of to write about but also because yesterday was Ascension Day here in the Netherlands which means all schools and daycares are closed and we must be Full Time Actual Parents.


ASIDE: Dear Minions Reading This In The Future: Mama loves you very much and is totally Just Kidding when they say that you are a pain in the ass except you really are sometimes a pain in the ass but that doesn’t mean I love you any less. xoxo ~Me.

Today is also sorta a holiday because all schools and daycares take today off as well, cause, come on, it’s a holiday on a Thursday, why would you go back to school / daycare / work for just one day but I actually woke up at a reasonable hour and have time to tackle catching up on the blog.


But now it’s time to go… do… things…