Don’t Know If I’m Elated Or Gassy

[Dutch Lock Down Day Two Hundred]

But I’m somewhere in that zone.

Probably more skeptically optimistic, if I’m honest.

But first the news:

Yesterday I posted that I’m doing super shitty and today I’m quoting Disney.

WTAF, Leander.

Photo by Mayur Gala on Unsplash

Can You Feel The Love Tonight

After yesterday’s post, there was an absolute outpouring of support and love and kindness and I… well… thank you. I cannot say thank you enough.

I received pictures of kittens and doggies and jokes and distractions and words of encouragement and empathy and

I’m crying.

Thank you.

So so SO much.

I’ve Got No Expectations

It helps to think that, yes, today was better than yesterday, what a gift, but tomorrow could be shitty again and that’s okay. Because these hormones will chill the fuck out over the next one to three months. As much as I hope this year will be just like starting hormone therapy last year – it took only a month last year – it could take up to three months.

And that’s also okay.

Hooray Hooray I’m Your Silver Lining

It’s easier to look at the silver linings when the hormones are fairly stable and the hot flashes aren’t as frequent, but it also sets me up for stability on the days when life is miserable.

Today’s silver linings are no suicidal thoughts!

And, well, the rest doesn’t matter, does it.

But I’ll add the rest to the list anyway – I cooked dinner! And took a shower! And got out of bed! And got dressed! And ate! And went outside! And cuddled Littles! And went for a long walk! And drank water!

It was a very good day.