Category: Warrior
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From Self-Sacrifice to Self-Support
I’ve been thinking about the difference between self pity and self compassion, and how sneaky that difference is when you’re inside it. From the inside, self pity feels justified. Heavy, yes, but justified. It sounds logical. Reasonable. Evidence-based. Look at all the reasons I can’t. Look at how unfair this is. Look at how tired…
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When Is It Time to Flee?
I don’t mean a casual move to another city, I mean actually wrestling with what safety, identity, belonging, and political reality feel like right now. I’m here in California, feeling both grateful and battered. Grateful for the community and relative sanctuary. Battered because it feels like every other week something surfaces that reminds me how…
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Have You Tried Turning It Off and Back On?
When I’m “supposed to” do something but I don’t wanna, I do absolutely nothing instead. Not rest. Not recovery. Not even a deliciously rebellious alternative. Just… nothing. I sit there like a browser tab that’s been open too long, quietly consuming resources while refusing to load. This pattern used to annoy me. I thought it…
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This Is a Love Story
Some days I go to the gym, and it feels meh. Mechanical. Just a place where I lift heavy things and then put them back down again like a very sweaty librarian. Sometimes, though, going to the gym feels like a small, quiet act of love. Not the loud, romantic kind. No grand gestures. No…
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YOU DID IT!! !
After the Storm, Before the Dust Okay. Deep breath again. They’re gone. All three. Three kids, three rounds, three weeks each. Nine weeks of parenting solo in a home that had never been fully theirs before — until now. And now it’s quiet. Really, truly quiet. The kind of quiet that feels like a question:…
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Still Not in Trouble
(Still figuring this out…) Ironically, I love making mistakes. At least in public. At least when it’s tech. Put me on a livestream, give me a broken container or a missing semicolon or a weird YAML error, and I thrive. I get to troubleshoot out loud, laugh at myself, and let the community chime in…
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Am I in Trouble?
(Probably Not, But Tell That to My Brain) I hate getting in trouble. Viscerally. The fear of doing something “wrong,” of getting caught, of someone being mad at me? It’s so baked in, I don’t even question it most days. It’s just this background hum, like a low-grade static buzzing under the surface: Am I…
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But Make It Actually Livable
So, what does health look like for me when I’m at my best? It’s not about six-pack abs or whatever Instagram thinks it is. It’s not kale smoothies and 4 a.m. workouts unless that actually feels good—which, okay, sometimes it does. But more often, health at my best feels like balance with a side of…
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We’re Not Machines, Rain
Some days you wake up and you’re like yes, today is the day I conquer the world. You’ve got your to-do list, your coffee, your playlist, and for a few glorious hours, you’re unstoppable. And then… BOOM. It’s like someone pulled the plug. Suddenly you’re scrolling through videos of raccoons washing grapes or reorganizing your sock…
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With Snacks and Sanctuary
How to Take Care of Rain What do I need to take care of myself this summer? First of all: water. Like actual hydration but also lakes, ocean breezes, cold showers when everything feels sticky and overstimulating and like they might explode from the sheer volume of life. They need water in all its forms.…
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Consider This Your Gentle Reminder
Am I Scared or Just Forgetting to Play? One of the peculiar little puzzles I’m working on these days — and yes, that phrasing is intentional; it is a puzzle — is trying to approach things with curiosity instead of fear. Sounds easy, right? Like just a flick of a switch: boop, now I’m curious!…
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We Need to Talk
So apparently that post I made the other day — the one about being nervous, about having my kids here this summer for the first time, about shifting from my worker-brain to my parent-brain and wondering if I was going to screw it all up — hit home for some people. Especially younger folks. People…