Loving You: Stop Comparisons

Everyone is unique – in personality, experience, and, indeed, in body shape and size. It is this rich tapestry of diversity that makes humanity beautiful. Yet, in a society that often values certain body types over others, it can be challenging not to fall into the trap of comparison. 

Why do we compare ourselves to others? According to social psychologist Leon Festinger’s social comparison theory, it is a virtual drive to evaluate ourselves, often concerning others. This can, unfortunately, lead to feelings of inadequacy and decreased self-esteem, primarily when the comparison is focused on physical appearance. 

Consider, for instance, the influence of social media. A study published in the Journal of Eating Disorders found that increased time on social media was linked to higher rates of body dissatisfaction and disordered eating attitudes, partially due to the comparison factor. Scrolling through perfectly curated, filtered images can distort our perception of reality and ignite the unhelpful comparison game. 

However, knowing this, we can consciously take steps to halt these comparisons and focus instead on our unique attributes and accomplishments. Let’s explore some practical strategies. 

First, practice mindfulness. Pay attention when making comparisons, then consciously redirect your focus to your body’s strengths and achievements. This might be a physical strength, like how your legs carry you through a challenging hike, or it could be an accomplishment, like your body’s endurance during a long workday. 

In her TEDx Talk, positive psychology researcher Alison Ledgerwood advises, “Resist the pull to the negative; deliberately focus on the positive.” Instead of honing in on perceived shortcomings, seek out the positive aspects of your body.

Next, reframe your social media use. Follow accounts that promote body positivity and diversity. Unfollow or mute those that make you feel lesser or spark the urge to compare. Social media is a tool; you can curate your feed to be a source of inspiration, not a trigger for comparison. 

Lastly, cultivate gratitude for your body. Gratitude has been shown to improve self-esteem and foster positivity. Take a moment each day to appreciate what your body does for you. This act can shift the narrative from what your body looks like to what it can do, helping you to appreciate its worth beyond physical appearance.

Remember, body confidence is a journey involving good and bad days. It’s about learning to love and respect your body for its uniqueness and capabilities. When we stop comparing ourselves to others, we appreciate our bodies more fully.

Do you have any strategies that have helped you to stop comparing yourself to others? How has this influenced your body confidence journey? Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.